We have been living in Japan for more than six months now. Being here this long has changed some of my habits. Here are a few ways Japan has changed me:
1. Putting Ice in Beverages
I used to make fun of how cold Americans like their beverages. I would always request no ice when ordering drinks, but it never worked. Not only was there ice, there was usually more ice than beverage. And all the accessories designed to keep ice from melting! And all the iced coffee, and all the people drinking it both in the summer and winter.
Now I have become someone who cannot live without ice in the summer. I blame it on the humidity, relentless heat, and restrained air conditioning. During July and August, I could only drink iced coffee. I consumed a shocking amount of frozen treats. Worst of all, after making fun of my husband's heavy duty Yeti mug, I used it exclusively all summer. After an outing on a hot day, all I could do was lie on my bed drinking iced water from the Yeti.
2. Dressing (More) Conservatively
I found it frustrating to move from a society with a relatively progressive attitude towards women's clothing to a society with a relatively conservative one. What is perfectly normal in Chicago might be considered risqué in Tokyo. This attitude is even more pronounced towards women past their 20s. I guess it feels like there is too much moral gatekeeping of women's appearances. And that women bear the burden of shielding their bodies from objectification.
I'm a pretty ordinary dresser by most western standards. I live mostly in jeans and blouses. In the summer, I like tank tops, shorts, and dresses. But I really struggled with my summer wardrobe here. On the one hand, I wanted to wear as little as possible to stay cool. On the other hand, I did not want unwanted attention. You won't see many people wearing tank tops or anything above the knee.
One of my running buddies commented that nobody would notice amongst the extreme outfits you can spot on the streets of Tokyo: skirts so short that they look like fringes, anime getups, and full-blown punk rock outfits. The thing is, Japanese fashion is kind of bifurcated into what is normal and what is not. Unless you have clearly left the realm of what is broadly considered socially acceptable, as a 30s something woman, I have found that there is not much freedom to dress as you like.
3. Minding traffic lights (more than before)
Unsurprisingly, Japanese people follow traffic rules precisely. Even on a small one-lane street with few cars, pedestrians will only cross when the light turns green. I am impatient by nature, and this felt completely unnatural to me at first. Gradually, I started accepting these pedestrian norms. Still, if I ever move back to New York, I will probably revert to jaywalking in mere hours.
4. Using Body Language to Communicate
In Japan, nonverbal communication is indispensable. A slight nod can be a greeting. It can mean excuse me. It can represent consent or an apology. A bow can also mean all these things but in a more formal context. For example, when you get on the elevator and there is already somebody inside, you would give a slight nod to acknowledge their presence and as a way of saying excuse me (for interrupting their ride, for sharing the space). Same thing when you get off. It is not weird for all this to transpire without words.
Body language is such a cornerstone of communication that Japanese people will bow and nod during telephone conversations, even though the other person obviously cannot see them.
5. Shopping In-Store
Returns are trickier in Japan compared to the U.S.. If something is returnable at all, the return period is usually one week. I once tried returning a Muji shirt I had bought four days ago. The store representative told me that I could not return it because I had bought it at another store that was in another neighborhood in Tokyo. Even chain retailers have strict return policies.
Perhaps because of this, in person shopping is very much well and alive here. I want to feel certain of a purchase, and the easiest way to do that is to see it in person before buying it. Even if it means having to use my awkward Japanese. I just have no appetite for returns anymore.
I think more person shopping also results in more purchases from local and small businesses. It helps that prices don't seem to vary as much here. It is incredible how many small businesses thrive in Tokyo.
6. Using my Bike to Commute Everywhere
I wrote an entire blog post on my commuter bike, or mamachari, as it is called here. Mine has both front and rear child seats, plus a basket. Biking is the perfect method of transportation for Tokyo's narrow and winding streets. It is faster than driving. In fact, cars are a liability in Tokyo. You have to stop every few feet to avoid pedestrians, bikes, and other cars. Streets are barely wide enough for a normal sedan. Parking is difficult and gas is very expensive.
With a rain cover for the child's seat and an unstylish but effective poncho for myself, I can ride it in the rain too. The independence and flexibility biking offers is my favorite part of living in Tokyo.
7. Feeling Safe
Tokyo is an incredibly safe city. Most of my life, I have lived in cities with high rates of violent crime. After having kids, I barely went out past bedtime, partly because I didn't have the energy and partly because the risk was not worth it. I took taxis when what I really wanted to do was walk. I avoided parks and abandoned streets at night. I clutched my bags close to me on the train. It took me some time to break these habits. Now we sometimes have "night walks" after dinner. It is a great feeling to be able to enjoy the nighttime as much as the daytime.
8. Vacuuming Everyday
Maybe it is because the floors are light, and so dirt and dust become more visible. Maybe everyone in the family now has thick hair or long hair or both. Maybe there is more food debris without our canine Roomba. Or maybe the light, cordless vacuums are easier to use. It might be a bit of all these things, but the vacuum gets daily use.
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