Grocery shopping in Tokyo

Our food shopping habits are completely different here than they used to be in Chicago. In Chicago, we usually went to our local Whole Foods in Lincoln Park once a week and Costco once a month for things like olive oil, diapers, etc.. Anything we needed between runs we would get at either Aldi or Olivia's Market, both a 10-minute walk away from our old apartment. Shopping once a week was necessary because the closest grocery store large enough to suit our needs was not walking distance. And shopping once a week was possible because portion sizes and packaging is generous in the U.S.

Now we are small-batch shopping at least every other day. We need to because portion sizes/packaging is small, and we eat a lot of food. For example, milk comes in either a pint or a quart. I have not seen milk sold in cartons larger than a quart. With two toddlers, we go through quite a bit of milk. Some foods, like meat, cheese, and fruits, are also more expensive. One small package of strawberries costs between $6-9, so it's hard to bite the bullet and buy 2-3 packages of strawberries. One reason for small packaging is simply because because people eat smaller portion sizes here. There are also a large proportion of single-person households in central Tokyo. 

It is easy to go food shopping frequently because there are four grocery stores within a 10 minute walking radius of my apartment. On my motorized mamachari, it's 2 minutes, and they are all one the way to one place or another. Even without these grocery stores, there are conbinis on every street. Conbinis sell all the staples, and most have a small but decent selection of produce, such as onions, carrots, potatoes, mushrooms, bean sprouts, cabbage, tomatoes, apples, oranges, and bananas. 

Today I went to a larger grocery store located in a shopping complex about a mile away. The complex has stores, restaurants, cafes, and a grocery store, but because of the renewed state of emergency in Tokyo, it's not as crowded as it usually is. 

It is easy to get distracted by the restaurants and shops. Also easy to find French chocolatiers, patisseries, and bakeries in Tokyo. 

Despite filing for bankruptcy in the U.S., Dean & Deluca is doing well in Japan. They have a lot of store locations here. I loved Dean & Deluca when I lived in New York right after college, and it was my go-to in D.C. when my husband lived there. I'm happy to see it again here. It is hard to resist these elaborate tinned cookies...

I finally make it to Precce, the grocery store. First stop: produce. Western-type produce tends to be predictably more expensive. Mushrooms are varied and inexpensive, as are vegetables like eggplant, bok choy, and bean sprouts. Avocados are expensive, but not exorbitantly so. Strawberries and melons are exorbitantly expensive. Fruits are generally expensive. I don't think people normally even buy melons. I have only seen them sold as gift fruit. The ones here cost about $55 per melon. 

Unsurprisingly, soy products are cheap, making it an easy and healthy source of plant protein. All the tofu you could want: 

Fresh seafood is also inexpensive. It is common to find sushi-grade fish and shellfish in an average grocery store. 

The exotic hairy crab. Shanghainese people love this. I've probably had it but cannot tell you the difference between this and other types of crab except that hairy crabs are very expensive. 

On to meats. Meats are more expensive as well, though chicken and pork are reasonable. Because Japanese people generally prefer dark meat chicken because it is juicier and more flavorful. Therefore, unlike in the U.S., white meat is less expensive than dark meat. Beef is the most expensive. It is either imported from the U.S. or New Zealand, or it is domestic Japanese beef, in which case it is Wagyu and even more expensive than the imported beef. Oh well, we have been trying to cut down on red meat consumption anyways.

I pass by the drinks section, and this catches my eye:

It is yogurt and grape flavored Fanta and only 36 calories. I'm tempted but afraid that there is something I'm missing since my Japanese reading skills are poor. Better to wait and buy risky items with the husband. I pick up some Yakult. Notice that the pack of 5 is half the price of the pack of 10. In Japan, unlike in America, there aren't really deep discounts for buying more. 

Sushi and other prepared foods. Quality depends on the store, but grocery store sushi is usually pretty good. There is a large selection of prepared foods, from full bentos to side dishes or snacks. Many are things you would prepare at home anyways. It's convenient to buy a couple of boxes to supplement dinner when we don't have enough food at home. The photo I took is a poor representation. While there are a lot of fried foods here, there are many healthy options as well. 

Japanese grocery carts: so you can just unload the entire basket onto the checkout counter instead of unloading item by item. Self-bagging is popular here. The cashier, after scanning each item, places it in another basket. After she is done, you return the basket to your cart and head to a bagging station, where you can bag everything yourself. There are dedicated checkout lanes for customers who don't want to bag themselves, but they are slower. 

This process is pretty typical of any Japanese store. I didn't buy a lot or anything interesting this time. Next time when I do a bigger grocery run, I will post what I bought and include prices so you can see for yourself how prices compare. 

First Doctor's Visit in Japan

Today I went to see a dermatologist for a minor skin issue. This was my first time seeing a physician in Japan, so I learned a bit about the Japanese medical system by going through the process. 

Every Japanese resident, citizen or foreigner, receives medical care under a universal healthcare system. I think it is mostly employer-based, but not employer-sponsored the way it is in America. You would typically register through your employer, and the tax you pay for healthcare is automatically withheld from your paycheck. The amount you pay into the system depends on your income level. If you are self-employed or unemployed, you register through the municipal government and pay this tax separately, and it is still income-based. Our family is registered through my husband's employer. 

The patient is responsible for no more than 30% of the medical bill, and the government pays up to 100% of the bill, depending on the medical service provided, as well the patient's income level and age. 30% may seem like a lot to Americans, given that hospitals bill insurance companies thousands of dollars for a simple screening scan, but medical costs are not padded like that here. I'll tell you about what my visit entailed and how much it cost. 

I have a little bump on my skin that grew from one millimeter to maybe two millimeters in the last two months. I probably would not have bothered seeing a doctor, except everyone told me that I should because it is quick and convenient - words I do not associate with healthcare. So, after receiving my national medical card, I started looking for a dermatologist. I found a dermatology clinic a ten minute walk away from my apartment and had my husband make an appointment for me. He was able to make an appointment for the next day. 

This particular clinic does not have an English speaking staff, but since my issue was a small one and my mother-in-law offered to interpret, I went with it. My appointment time was 10:00 am. I arrived at 9:50 am. My temperature was taken, and I was asked to put on a pair of disposable gloves. The receptionist asked for my medical card. They then gave me a Covid-19 questionnaire with the usual questions about how I was feeling. I also completed a second questionnaire asking for personal information and details about my skin problem. After completing all the requisite paperwork, I waited for two minutes before I was called into the examination room at precisely 10:00 am. 

The dermatologist was a woman probably in her 60s. I showed her my bump, answered a few questions, and was diagnosed with having a small cyst, completely benign. She said no further treatment was necessary but recommended another physician in the neighborhood in case I wanted the cyst removed. Would removal incur out of pocket costs since it is not medically necessary? No, my medical insurance would cover it. The appointment lasted five minutes. 

After the examination, I returned to the receptionist to pay my part of the cost. It cost the equivalent of $8.50. And that was the end of it. No future bills. In Japan, it is typical to pay medical costs up front like this. 

From what I know and what my husband tells me about his work, the universal system is a lot more straightforward than the American one. Aside from the obvious benefit that everyone has access to healthcare, the system discourages the waste of unnecessary resources so that hospitals can bill for a higher amount. In America, there was a lot of pressure on physician teams to maintain a high turnover of patient beds to maximize hospital profit. Since that is not the case here, Japanese patients, on average, stay in the hospital longer. When patients are discharged prematurely, they may develop complications that result in re-admission. This, of course, creates more paperwork. Administrative tasks are one thing Japanese physicians deal with less here. My husband's least favorite part of his old job was dealing with insurance companies and billing. 

For the physician, the downside is a substantially lower salary in Japan. However, given the enormous pressure a lot of American physicians are under (dealing with the fallout from lack of preventative care, liaising with insurance companies and the billing department, forever under pressure to generate more and more revenue, etc.), I don't think it is true that all physicians are overpaid. Physician salary varies widely across specialities and subspecialties. Family medicine, internal medicine, and emergency room physicians are not paid a great deal compared to dermatologists and orthopedic surgeons. Yet they are truly on the front lines of the medical profession. 

All factors considered, my husband is happy to be working as a physician here in Japan. He says the best part is being able to focus on providing medical care. I would be interested to hear any of your experiences with medical systems outside the U.S. 

Being a Woman in Japan

We have now been living in Japan for two months, and I am discovering new things everyday, particularly as a woman living in Japan. My perspective comes with the obvious caveats of 1) being a foreigner 2) living in a large metropolitan area like Tokyo as opposed to a smaller city, town, or rural area, and 3) having lived here for two months only, as my perceptions will surely evolve over time. 

Giving Birth

Being a woman in Japan is one thing. Being a mother is another. Motherhood, and the mother-child relationship, is held sacred in Japanese culture. This might sound strange because it seems obvious, but let me give you a few examples. Japanese mothers save the umbilical cord after their baby is born. They place it in a special box, provided by the hospital, as a keepsake to symbolize the bond between mother and child. Japanese women are encouraged to give birth without epidural so they can undergo the full experience, which is considered transformative. That is, the pain is part of what transforms the woman into a mother who can bond with her child. 

It shocked me how rare epidurals are in Japan. While statistics vary, if you search "epidural in Japan," it is apparent that the rate is well below 10%. It is not a mainstream option, and certainly not the default. If you want an epidural, you have to reserve your spot at a private clinic that administers epidurals. Because there are fewer of these clinics, spots fill up quickly, and by all accounts, you have to book months in advance. The cost can also be two, even three or four times as high as standard care at a public hospital. 

The government heavily subsidizes childbirth costs, but not as a medical expense. Childbirth is funded separately from medical expenses because it is considered a natural, non-medical event. This is likely different for C-sections, though I don't know for sure. The amount of funding depends on each city ward, so it varies across Tokyo. 

Childcare

After the baby is born, the mother carries the baby - a lot. Japan has a long tradition of baby carrying, established long before it became popular among us millennials. Here in Tokyo, I see moms carrying their babies everywhere, doing everything, and for superhuman amounts of time. I found it difficult to carry my three month old baby beyond one hour in the baby carrier. After three months of age, I could only carry her for half an hour before feeling achey and exhausted. I see women carrying their one year olds to buy groceries. Then I seen them walking home, carrying the groceries and wearing the baby. It seems that the cultural norm is for the mother and baby to spend all their waking hours together. 

The use of nannies and domestic helpers is a big part of Chinese culture, and it's common in American culture as well. It took me a few years to notice this, but nannies are notably absent in Japan. Even really wealthy Japanese do not have nannies. In comparison, middle class Chinese families have nannies. It appears to me that the woman's role in the domestic sphere is so deeply rooted in Japanese society that it takes on a higher cultural significance, one that trumps pragmatism and wealth. 

Birth control

Birth control options was something else that surprised me. According to my husband who recently completed his gynecology service at a local hospital, the pill is by far the most common contraceptive provided. IUDs are uncommon, and implants and injections very rare. Now, who knows if this is due to demand or supply or perhaps both. Growing up, my mother discouraged the use of tampons because she thought inserting a foreign thing into your body compromises your bodily integrity - or something like that. East Asian countries are socially and culturally conservative compared to western counterparts, so it is possible that demand is low for these relatively new (and arguably more invasive) methods of birth control. 

Clothing and Fashion

So far, the weather has been cool and temperate in Tokyo. But Tokyo summers are notoriously hot and humid. When that time comes, I will wish for a short summer dress, and everyone will know that I am not Japanese. In general, the women's fashion here dictates long, flowing clothing. The shirts are loose fitting, dresses are long, and culottes beat out other types of pants. Tight clothes, cleavage, and legs are not common sights. Even in the hot summers, you see on both women and men a lot of pants and not many shorts. 

And of course, there is the sizing. Sizing runs small here and sometimes, not at all. I have come across a few things that are one size only. A couple of years ago, I was shopping for maternity pants and found ones with adjustable waistbands. When I asked about sizing, the store clerk said that it was one size, because the waistbands are adjustable. My size is considered standard here, so I don't have any trouble finding clothes in this sense. Although diversity in size is not a concept that has gained a foothold in Japan, things are changing. Naomi Watanabe is a comedian, actress, and fashion icon. She is the one whom Hiroshi Sasaki, chief executive creative director of the Tokyo Olympics, said should dress as an "Olympig" at the opening ceremony. He was subsequently forced to resign over the comment. 

As a foreigner, I am lucky in many ways because I am held to different cultural standards. I feel some pressure to conform, but nothing extreme. I am also lucky because who I am happens to largely fit existing social norms. Japanese culture is truly a study of contrasts. Despite amazing AI technology and the ability to implement that technology to facilitate even mundane aspects of life (i.e., toilets), other facets of life remain practically untouched by this type of forward-thinking mentality.

Eating Out + Musings about Multilingualism

A new era begins on Tuesday of this week. E begins preschool, M begins daycare full-time, and I begin Japanese lessons. I am taking a course provided by the Shibuya ward, and it is subsidized. I didn't realize the extent of subsidization until I received an email asking for payment in the amount of $30, which also covers textbook and materials. We meet for two hours every week for ten weeks. What a bargain. 

Although people can get by in Tokyo not understanding Japanese, it is definitely limiting. You can't properly read a receipt. You can't eavesdrop on neighboring conversations. You can't fully appreciate your surroundings. I have heard that the course is not easy, so I am hoping to 1) be able to communicate and understand basic phrases and 2) not fail the course. 

On the flip side of things, I am a little worried about M's English development. She is attending a Japanese daycare and interacts mostly in Japanese at home. Her English exposure is limited to listening to her parents speak English. I speak to her in Mandarin. She will likely follow her older sister to the English-speaking international school in a couple of years and will eventually need English fluency. 

E, on the other hand, will be immersed in an English speaking environment at school and so will need Japanese at home. Our goal is to help both kids develop fluency in all the languages we can speak. Of course this is unnecessary but this is a critical age for language development, and it is much easier to learn it now than later, so we are trying our best to make the most of their exposure to our respective languages. 

It is Sunday here in Tokyo. We have been eating out a lot this weekend. I like cooking but am still trying to find my footing in the kitchen with a new stove and different ingredients. 

Since groceries are generally expensive and restaurants relatively inexpensive, there is a strong incentive to eat out. Moreover, restaurant and takeaway food, though it obviously depends on what you eat, can also be quite healthy and nutritionally comparable to home cooking. Plus, there are so many good restaurants to try. 

On Friday we go to a tonkatsu restaurant. In Japan, restaurants typically specialize in one type of food. Tonkatsu is fried pork cutlets served with finely shredded cabbage, rice, and miso soup. The restaurant we went to also had a vegetable variation that consists of veggies wrapped and fried in yuba (tofu skin). There are three sauces on the side: a yuzu dressing for the cabbage, a bolder sauce for the tonkatsu, and a sweeter milder sauce for the tonkatsu. The bolder sauce says spicy, but it is not even a little bit spicy. You also get a bowl of sesame seeds which you grind yourself and incorporate into the dressing for a thicker, richer sauce. 

Shredded cabbage is bottomless, and I ask for two refills. I have to get my vegetables in when I can. A common and convenient feature of Japanese restaurants is having baskets to place your belongings, such as purses, scarves, and coats. 

We also ate ramen this weekend. Most ramen shops have bar seating. Customers are in and out quickly - you are not suppose to linger. However, there are a few ramen shops that also have more family-friendly table seating. There is one near our apartment that serves creative versions of traditional ramen. They have a mapo tofu ramen, flavored like the spicy Sichuanese dish and full of chilis. There is a creamy spicy ramen that uses emulsified hazelnuts in its broth. I ordered this last time, and it was very delicious. This time, I ordered the tomato ramen, which is not at all spicy and tasted a bit like gazpacho. It was also very delicious, though definitely not your typical Japanese ramen. 

This place uses relatively thick noodles. It works well because the broths are so thick and rich. I order E a half portion of the salt ramen, which has a chicken soup flavor and is exploding with umami. 

This morning, we went to Yoyogi Park to enjoy the nice spring weather and get a bit of exercise to balance out all the eating. After some walking and playing in the park, we went to a nearby cafe near the park for coffee. 

I noticed that amazing coffee is easy to find in Tokyo. Coffee shops have a very artisanal approach, often letting customers choose beans from their origin of choice and then grinding the beans right before making the coffee. Pour-over coffees are the most popular. It comes at a price, as making pour-over coffee is slow and labor intensive, especially if you are grinding beans on the spot. These types of coffee range from $4 to $8 for a standard size (small) cup. These coffees are considered more a source of pleasure and less a performance enhancement substance. But you can also get your cheap, utilitarian coffee from convenience stores and vending machines.

Time to head home. The crowds in Tokyo are unbelievable on the weekends, and this is without the usual tourism. The weekend isn't over but the rest of it will be spent more quietly at home.

10 Ways to be Well-Mannered in Japan

Moving to a new country means being busy all the time learning and re-learning how to do things. There are a few big things, like navigating the bureaucracy to obtain my resident card, getting a new mobile phone, and enrolling the kids in new schools. Then there are a thousand little things. This post is about the little things that facilitate my social interactions and make my daily life go more smoothly.

1. Shoes Off

In most East Asian cultures, you have to take your outdoor shoes off before entering a home. In China, we switch to indoor slippers. In Japan, it's not simply a matter of indoor/outdoor shoes. For example, sometimes there are special bathroom slippers to be worn only in that space. Even in public spaces, there are times when you must remove your shoes. 

Gyms might request you to switch to indoor gym shoes before entering. This requires a second pair of workout shoes, which I still need to buy. Shoes should also come off before entering kids' playrooms or any place where people normally sit on the floor, like restaurants with traditional floor seating or seats for watching sumo. Fitting rooms at stores are another place where shoes are removed. Sometimes slippers will be provided in these instances. 

2. Direction of Parked Shoes

When you take your shoes off, you should turn them the other way so that the toe of your shoes are pointing towards the door. When you are ready to leave, you can slip the shoes back on without having to do it backwards. It's practical, but it's also manners. If there is a closet or shelf for shoes, you should pick your shoes up and place them there. 

3. Shoes and Feet Generally

This should go without saying, but stepping on things that are not meant to be stepped on is considered extremely ill-mannered here and many other countries. Do not wash them in the washing machine or, god forbid, the dishwasher, in Japan. 

It is difficult to describe how upset it makes me to see people sitting on public seats with their shoes stepping on the chair or resting on the opposite facing chair. I used to see this on the CTA all the time. It's a public space, so respect it! That seat you are stepping on with your dirty shoes is a place someone else will later sit on. It is not an exaggeration to say that the mentality behind these actions was a reason I wanted to move. It may seem like a passive action, but to me, it feels like an active transgression. It reflects significantly on mutual respect, cooperation, and communal trust within a society. 

When I was studying abroad in Barcelona, my friend was resting her feet (shoes on) on the seats opposite us in a train. An elderly couple across the aisle scolded her for it. She couldn't understand why at all. I didn't say it, but I totally understood. 

Anyways, this is my long-winded way of saying that shoes are dirty and many cultures, including Japan, treat them that way. Don't worry, this is the last I have to say about shoes. 

4. Punctuality

I am usually on time, sometimes a few minutes late, and rarely more than five minutes late. When I meet people, I consider them on time so long as they are not more than five minutes late. Japanese people are generally very punctual. Even if they arrive early, they will walk around or wait until the appointment time so as not to inconvenience the receiving party by being early. This is my first time living in such a punctual culture, so I am trying my best to be on time more. 

5. Chopsticks

I don't think anyone will be offended if you opt out of chopsticks. If you do use chopsticks, however, just remember that the golden rule is to never stick the chopsticks upright in the food. This, as far as I know, is a pan-Asian rule. It resembles incense burning at funerals and considered bad luck. 

A less egregious one is laying the chopsticks across a bowl. I didn't grow up with this one, but Hiro says it has something to do with resembling a bridge to the afterlife. 

Minor chopstick rules: don't use chopsticks to stab food - better to just switch to a fork if that's the only way to get food into your mouth. Don't lick food from the chopsticks. Use the chopstick rest.

6. Finishing Your Food

While finishing your food (meaning, your own plate of food and not the communal food) is standard good manners in almost any culture, wastefulness is simply not tolerated in Japanese culture. This is also true of traditional Chinese culture, though sadly some Chinese people waste intentionally these days as a show of wealth. Some even do it to emulate American culture, equating it with prosperity. 

Nevertheless, both Hiro and I were taught to eat every single grain of rice. My mom would recite the saying about the rice farmer who had to break his back to pick every grain of rice and both how wasteful and disrespectful it is to leave behind even a single grain. Hiro reports that his mom said the same thing. 

7. Using the Close Button in Elevators

I never used the close button in elevators because it never seemed to work. Press or not, the door closes at its own pace. In Japan, the close button will actually make the door close faster. So people actually use the button. Press the close button after you step onto an occupied elevator. Otherwise, someone else will step forward and press it for you. I keep making this mistake, standing there wasting other people's time as the seconds tick by. 

8. Onsens and Baths

You should take off all your clothes and shower thoroughly before using any bath. Onsens, or hot springs, have an area where you shower first. Only then can you enter the bath. The reason is that everyone shares the hot spring water, so everything that goes in should first be cleaned. This holds true for private baths at home too, because the family shares the same bath. Baths are meant for relaxation rather than cleaning. 

9. Unsolicited conversation

In America, it is often perceived as a sign of friendliness when strangers talk to you. It's fine if it is just a pleasantry or two, but sometimes it goes on [cue the Trader Joe's checkout experience]. In Japan, people will not appreciate unsolicited advice and conversation. People cherish the right to be left alone. 

10. Following Rules

Finally, rules are pretty sacred in Japanese culture. They are taken seriously and definitely not seen as mere suggestions. There are also lots of rules governing all aspects of life, so it can be challenging. Even something as seemingly simple as swimming in a public pool can be a headache if you cannot grasp the rules: take shoes off before entering the locker room, shower before entering pool, choosing the appropriate lane for your swim speed, maintaining that speed unless you want to get moved to a slower lane (you swim in circles, so if someone catches up to you, it is pretty much game over for you even though they could just pass you), and bringing an extra dry towel to use before returning to the locker room. I know this all from personal experience. 

Most of these manners can be reduced to simply being considerate of other people. Following so many rules in minute detail can be hard, but it is what makes public life run smoothly here.