Potty Training

Yesterday was the first day of M's potty training. E was potty trained when she turned two, and we figured we would do the same for M. To tell you the truth, we have been dragging our feet since M's birthday a couple of weeks ago. 

It took us three days to potty train E and a week to fully potty train her (meaning she could be awake without a diaper as well as sleep without one). We read the book Oh Crap! Potty Training by Jamie Glowacki and followed her guidelines, which aim to potty train kids quickly rather than gradually. It worked for us. Things progressed just as the book described. Even now, it seems amazing that we were so lucky with E. We chalked it up to a combination of beginner's luck and E's personality. Naturally, we reasoned that it would be hard to get lucky twice. And the task ahead seemed to become more and more overwhelming in our minds. 

Another reason is outside pressure. For a few months now, both M's daycare and her grandparents have been attempting to potty train M. When she said "poo poo," they would rush to sit her on the toilet. Ninety percent of the time, of course, she had done the deed already. Her daycare teacher reported that she did pee a few times on the toilet. All of this made us shirk from the responsibility. Maybe M was ready, but we were not. It's a little selfish, I know. Since E was potty trained at age two, we had given ourselves an unspoken two year deadline. We reasoned that two didn't seem so late anyways. 

So how did it go? Day one went better than expected. M has a strong rebellious streak. And she doesn't mind messes. So we expected a messy, rebellious day. Instead, she had only one accident in the morning. After that, she peed on the toilet every time after announcing "pee pee." She also pooped successfully. Jamie Glowacki's book recommends for the kid to be naked from the waist down on the first day of training. This is so she can better understand what is happening when she has an accident. Once she understands that, she can begin to make the connection between wanting to pee and using the toilet. It also promotes clarity: there is no diaper sometimes and potty sometimes. As Glowacki puts it, it is difficult to learn a new behavior when you are still actively engaging in the old behavior. 

Potty Training in Different Countries

The environment of potty training this time around is completely different. As I mentioned, M's daycare has been encouraging of potty training and very willing to help. Now that we have undertaken the task, making the transition from potty training at home to potty training at daycare seems entirely doable. It is a very community-oriented mindset. You experience this in other circumstances too - like when other people (usually older people, to be honest) scold your kids. While this might be unacceptable in the U.S., it's not in Japan. It's happened to me, but I didn't mind much, as my reaction to what M was doing would have been similar. The community approach to raising kids works in a society of nearly uniform culture and values. 

E's daycare in Chicago had a hands-off policy for potty training. Even so, kids had to be potty trained to progress to the older class. E was in an older toddlers class when she began potty training. Although the classroom had its own bathroom with a child-sized toilet, it was used as a storage room and was thus unusable. She was also not allowed to visit the neighboring classroom's bathroom on the basis that it would disrupt the teacher to student ratios of each class. There was simply no support or infrastructure for a two year old to potty train. Parents were solely responsible for leading their kids to that milestone. It reflected an individual-minded approach to raising children. On the one hand, you get executive power. On the other, you have the exclusive burden. 

Toilet training in Japan begins early compared to the U.S. It is as early as age one and usually before age two. It is an interesting topic with cultural, socio-economical, psychological, and environmental angles. I won't get into it, but it is interesting if you want to read about Freud, science, and policy. 

Anyways, it is an all-consuming activity. All I can think about right now is potty training. With E, day two was actually than day one, and after a setback, she finally learned how to pull her pants down and go to the toilet. Day one was too easy to be true, so I am treading cautiously. My husband is more optimistic. We shall see what day two brings. I will report back next week.